I am happy. I swear it, it’s true. But I feel as if I’ma thousand miles away from where my mind is. I want to get away. I don’t know how to approach things or anyone really. I don’t want to talk to anyone, ever. I like being on my own, but I feel so alone in my own company. If I could pick one single person to talk to it would be Bano. but she’s off to college soon so my second choice is myself. All I have is me. I have company from a friend, and I do enjoy it, but I feel as if I need to be alone. I will die alone. I will love no one until I can fully love myself. I think I do. But I doubt it at times of insecurities. Everything is wrong and right at the same time. I want everyone who ever knew me, to get away from me and pretend I never existed. I want to be on my own forever. I want to be safe and sound. I want to be someone who doesn’t talk a lot. and who is guarded, but my walls are always down. I’m naked. I am a heart on your sleeve. I’m someone I never wanted to be. So I’m learning how to deal with that. To some friends who knew when I was sad and never did anything.. I hope you learned a valuble lesson.

“You never know what you got until it’s gone”

I know I was a more than an amazing friend. But I hope my words will stick with you guys forever. Never, not even for a second forget everything I’ve ever told you. You all have all of my love. Bye